Monday, April 27, 2015

Are You Sure It's Not Knee Pain?

Super quick update before I start this blog, 1) I sucked it up and went through with the capsule endoscopy. Almost two weeks later and I was still waiting for that damn camera to come out. Three weeks later and still no word on the results, so yeah I'm super regretting doing it. Of course, it is Dr. Nodurft so the results might be in and just waiting in the outgoing mail bin...  2) I didn't go to the potluck. Life's tough.

Last time I left off, I had to wait six weeks for Mr. I'm Too Busy. Well May of 2014 finally rolled around and it was time to talk colonoscopies. Yay.

I remember this appointment pretty well. I barely made it on time, I tried to leave work early but left late. I was still losing weight and always tired, the pain I was in was becoming more regular and more severe. Plus I was dealing with Holden's medical issues/procedures and they were pretty bad during this timeframe. In all directions-I was STRESSED!  He asked me again about my symptoms. He went down them like a grocery checklist. it sounded more like he was trying to remind himself who I was and what my symptoms were. I was getting irritated. Then I described my stomach pain. At that time, about once every 6-8 weeks it was really bad. I would wake up in pain. It was like being shot in the middle of my stomach. Worst pain of my life accompanied by chills, nausea, night was horrible. "Every few weeks?" he said. "And you're sure it's not your menstrual cycle?" He said it as a statement more than a question. I was beyond irritated now. I struggled really hard to not call him a dumb ass. I can't wait for someone to rip his balls off, because I'm going to be the first one there standing over him asking, "Are you sure it's not knee pain?"

Hindsight is 20/20, and with that perspective in mind this appointment was a disaster! He never fully explained the procedure either so it was really not worth it.  I did finally get a detail explaination of the procedure and the risks involved, but that was a few days later when Scarlet had a follow up with the pediatric GI specialist.

He asked me what I did for a living. He asked if I had children. This was not one the first times meeting with this guy but now he decided to take a patient history???  Uhhh, pretty sure all this info is on the form I filled out the first time I came in. Excuse yourself into the hallway Boo and read my fucking chart. He touched on support, he said I would need a ride home from the colonoscopy. "you'll have to have your husband drive you." Support. husband. What??? "My what?" I asked. Maybe my irritation was starting to show because he did seem to try to regroup at this point. He scanned my chart looking for something and then said, "Michael." "Who?" I asked him back. Way to take notes guy. Real thorough. "Michael. He came here with you here before didn't he?" then I remembered. "oh, that guy. Yeah, he did come...I guess he had nothing better to do that day? He's not going to give me a ride home." awkward... Dr. Yee had told me I would need someone to take me to my first appointment. This turned out to not be the case. How many rides was I going to have to ask from people??!!

So then he told me about the procedure. Here it is: it's just like the endoscopy I had, you come in the nurses set you up, you'll be wheeled back into a room, we put you out and then you'll wake up a short time later. I feel like I'm missing a big piece of the puzzle. Like the whole puzzle.

This is the thought that got me in trouble-I should have had a cocktail before I got here.

I asked him to actually explain it. He proceeds to tell me the worst part is the prep, that I'll be up all night and my bottom will probably be pretty sore by the next day. He said something about a camera and picked up his stethoscope to show how wide it was.

I'm out, no thank you. "this seems unpleasant," I said, "I don't want to do it." Remember that cocktail idea I had? He said something about clear liquids only. "does that include vodka? Can I drink vodka?" this prompted him to ask how much I drank, another item we already discussed at my very first appointment. "well, I have three kids, so not enough." he harped on it a bunch more which irritated me to no end. Then he asked me if I smoked. Again, another question I've already answered. "no," I responded. "Should I start?" "Oh, no" he warned, completely oblivious to my sarcasm. and at no point did he write any of this information down so I figured my next appointment was going to be yet, another treat. He said something about a car service since I had no ride, but never followed up. He went to get paperwork and I was left to sit and stew in my own frayed nerves and irritation. He came back, brought up clear liquids again. So I asked, innocently, "So, is that a no on the vodka?"' "Well," he began, "We don't recommend it." I perked up, it sounded like maybe there was a chance it was no big deal. "I'm not hearing a no." and it was clear, this is where he met his threshold on dealing with me. Gotta give him props-his patience did last longer than most. "That's not exactly a glowing recommendation!" he hissed back at me. Mr. Roger's just yelled at me, guess its not such a great day in the neighborhood.

"Still not hearing a no." I replied. He just stared back at me. I left not fully committed to the colonoscopy idea. He said to try to wrap my head around it and call his scheduler. Try wrapping your head around the concept of actually helping your patient. He gave me paperwork and the prescription for the prep. Clearly he did not want me to call or come back for any reason. I left, happy to get out of that office while Dr. Nodurft ran down the hall to his office to rewrite my medical chart. I would be finding that out in the few short weeks that followed.